Why Joy Can't Be Found In Controlling The Outcome And What You Can Do Instead

Before you judge me, let me just say... smart girls need stupid TV, too!

This past week was the finale of yet another season of the love train wreck (a.k.a. The Bachelorette).

I tuned in with millions of others to watch as Des was devastated by the loss of Brooks and then flip-flopped and got engaged to Chris within days.

Despite getting raked over the coals by the media for her extreme and seemingly suspicious resiliency, she simply and brilliantly articulated the process she went through. In fact I was struck by her very "real" experience which I find highly unusual for reality tv.

She said that she was "so blind-sided by her emotions for Brooks, that she couldn't see what was standing right in front of her (Chris)." And, once Brooks removed himself from the equation, - even though the process was shocking and painful - it cleared the way for the true desire of her heart to be delivered.

I personally applaud all involved. Brooks didn't get wrapped up with the whirlwind of being on tv and bowed out. Des let herself feel her disappointment, yet remained open to another. And Chris, stayed true to his developing affection for Des and to the core of who he was.

There is no doubt that the emotions, and the process, are highly escalated. And the facts remain that these Bachelor/Bachelorette matches rarely succeed.

However, there is a lovely lesson under it all that makes me think Desiree and Chris actually have a better shot than most of their alumnus.

The lesson... ?

The key to happiness and joy in life is to keep saying YES.

Des got hurt, looked at what was in front of her and said yes! Yes, I'm going to remain open. Yes I can be happy. Yes, I'm willing for the answer to be no. Yes, things are unfolding unexpectedly...

Bearing in mind the courage to say yes comes from remembering that you can say no at any time.

For example, I just started dating a new man and I like him a lot! So my mind can race ahead of where I am at and try to force my heart to make decisions I don't have to make.

All I know for sure is that I want to go on another date with him. So I said yes to that. I don't know if I want to be his girlfriend, or go on a trip or get engaged... or any of the dozens of questions you can torment yourself with.

Uncertainty in life is inevitable, disappointments are probable and unknowns are constant. This is part of living a full life.

However, it's important to remember; stress, unhappiness and depression stem not from these realities, but rather from the sheer exhaustion of trying to control our outcomes.

Uncertainty? Yes! Disappointments? Absolutely!! Unknowns? Bring 'em on!!!

What are you afraid of?

Is there a decision tugging at you or troubling you? Even in uncertainty you can say yes and let more be revealed...

Hi! I'm Thais Zoe, Founder and Chief Joy Merchant of Lucky Duck Living™ the creator of the BEST women's fitted t-shirts ever! Super fun designs, organic, Made in America tees that give back. Check out our shop at https://LuckyDuckLiving.com/shop-best-tees-ever/

I also author the Joy Blog Weekly; a super resource for inspiration, humor, style & design tips... https://www.LuckyDuckLiving.com/the-joy-blog/

You can find Lucky Duck Living on Facebook. I hope you'll like us, and, I invite you to follow me on Twitter @ThaisLuckyDuck

There's no reason to go it alone... I'm in your corner!

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