Relaxing and Being Relaxed

Relaxing is what people do when they have finished their work. They put their feet up, have a cup of coffee and generally take it easy.

Being relaxed is something else. You can be relaxed while you are driving, while you are working, and while you are sitting down, having that cup of tea, of course.

Both are important, and for some people, both are difficult. The CEO who finds it difficult to stop working hard, the student who feels she does not have time to take a break from her studies, the housewife who always has something else to do before she sits down and takes it easy for a few minutes, find relaxing and being relaxed difficult if not practically impossible.

Finding time to stop and have a break from your busy schedule should be easy. After all, you are the boss. You are a student who doesn't have a boss. You are a housewife on your own in the house with nobody telling you what to do. Why isn't it easy?

It's not that you need anyone's permission. There's nobody there to ask except yourself. That's the trouble; you deny yourself permission to pause. The one person who can allow you to take a break tells you that you haven't got time.

There are always a hundred and one things to do, and they are all urgent. Ask yourself this: If I don't do them, who will? Will the world stop because I don't do them right now?

Now I hear the CEO saying that everything he does is of the utmost urgency, and that if he doesn't do them, the company will lose orders.

I hear the student saying that she has deadlines to meet, essays to write, and examinations to take. Nothing can wait.

Likewise, the housewife says that the kids will be home any minute, and that if she doesn't get her work done before they get home from school then she'll never have the time to complete it afterwards.

All they say is absolutely true; the company would lose orders, the student would fail her Part One exams, and the beds would have to stay unmade.

What is being overlooked here is the idea that time spent having a cup of tea, reading the paper, or chatting in a café is time wasted. The urgency of the day is real, no doubt, but the passing of time and one's effectiveness in utilizing it is a function of a person's feeling of being at the centre of everything. No one is at the centre of everything.

What you are at the centre of is not your situation, but your own mind. Your sense of responsibility, of self-importance, your ambition, your work ethic, or whatever else dominates your mind, all combine to hurry you through the day. There are a hundred and one things to do, so make it a hundred and two; one more won't make any difference to that impossibly large number, will it?

That last thing you have to do; taking a break, is arguably the most important thing you will do all day. It will affect all the other things you have to do. It will increase your performance, however minutely.

If you multiply that minute increase in your performance over your career, it will make an incredible difference; to your ability to function in your chosen profession or activity, and more importantly, to you as a person. You are not a machine. A machine needs a little bit of oil and it can go on running for the rest of its working life.

Notice though that even machines wear out eventually. If they do not get their oil, or get properly maintained, their life is shortened considerably, as is their efficiency while they are working.

To a certain extent, human beings are very similar to machines; if they are not maintained, or if they are not provided with the right input, they stop functioning properly or slow down to a complete halt.

What makes you think you are any different from the rest of us? You might be the chief executive of a giant corporation, you might be a brilliant student, or a good mother and wife, but all that is encased in flesh and blood. You are mortal, just like everyone else. The laws that apply to the tramp asleep in the gutter, apply to you.

What has happened is that your persona has been overlain with layer upon layer of egotism, sophistication, and feelings of invincibility. You think you are indispensable, so now you feel that the world will not turn unless you do what it is that you do.

No one is indispensable, and no one's time is at such a premium that they cannot stop what they are doing and take a breather; sit down and relax for a while.

So, now that you have sat down, let's think what you can do to feel the full benefit of the time you have to relax.

Robert L. Fielding

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